Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Wednesday's Wisdom

Alright, so I think it's high time I introduce my platform to all of you.  Yes, writers do have agendas--if they tell you otherwise, then you should look a bit closer at the themes in their latest book.  As for me, I'm just going to spit my agenda out right here for everyone to read. 

Cobbogoth's main themes are belonging and family.  The Cobbogothians, as you will read when my book comes out, were a people extremely dedicated to their "kinstones" or families.  They were given special powers from the Gihara, their gods, that helped them protect themselves and their kinstones from all sorts of physical dangers.  But the Cobbogothians allowed their society to be damaged, almost beyond repair, because, through a series of events, they neglected their kinstones.

When I was 18 years old, my parent's divorced.  I didn't see it coming, even though all of the signs were there.  If I was asked to name the most defining moment of my life, that would be it.  Up until that time, my family was everything to me, dysfunctional as it was.  I was a "Tanner girl," and that meant something until everything fell apart.  After the divorce, I didn't know who I was anymore.  My entire foundation had been pulled out from under me, and it took me a good seven or eight years before I felt like a whole person again.

A couple of years ago, when things in my family were beginning to calm down, and I was getting my feet back underneath me again, I was approached by a friend who's parent's had just announced they were getting divorced.  This broke my heart, and I told her that what parent's don't often realize, is how devastating divorce is to their children.  They have no choice in their parent's decision, and many of them never fully recover from it. 

Well, my friend told her parents what I had said, and at that time, at least, they postponed their divorce because of what it might do to their kids.  I'm happy to say that today, they are still married, and seem to be working things out for the long haul. 

Now, I won't be so presumptuous as to say that my comments had much to do with where my friend's parents are today, but I will say, that when they decided to stay together because they didn't want to cause their children undue pain, I was hopeful.  I knew that I had to speak out more about my own experience as a child of divorce.  I knew that sometimes parent's were so consumed with their own pain, they couldn't see their childrens'.  But perhaps, somehow, I could shed some light on it, and maybe some of them would reconsider breaking up their marriage for the sake of their children.

And so, my platform as a writer is about strengthening families, as well as helping children who are already dealing with divorce, sucessfully cope.  If there is anything I can write through fiction, or share from my own life that can help even one family stay together, or one child find a healthy way to put themselves back together again, then everything I've been through both in life with my own parent's seperation, and in writing Cobbogoth will be worth it.

So, from here on out, this is how things will go on my blog:  every Wednesday, I will post about some aspect concerning strengthening families, my experiences, etc.  Then on Friday, which I am now calling "Family Time Friday" I will invite guests--both professionals and everyday folks--to post about how they've made things work in their own families, any traditions or ideas that have been particularly beneficial in strengthening their families and marriages.  I also want to give a broader perspective and a voice to to children of divorce, to better help parents considering divorce understand what their decision will ultimately do to their own children.  Finally, I will share ways children of divorce can overcome and find hope and happiness in their future when the worst happens.

For this purpose, I am available to speak to youth and parent groups alike about my experiences and how I've coped and found hope and happiness in my own family.  For this purpose, contact me at

Lastly, I believe that the family is the foundation of any society.  I also believe--sorry to use a cliche here--that the children are our society's future, and the best way to make society better is to focus on them one child at a time.  With that in mind, what's more personal than a story.  For me, as a child, my life was intimately shaped and my character molded by the books that I read, which is why I chose to write Cobbogoth.  I hope it has a positive and lasting effect on all those who read it in the light and intent that it was written.


1 comment:

  1. um...WOW. that was beautiful. thank you. i know Heavenly Father will bless you on your journey. you are an angel.