Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Wednesday's Wisdom

I don't know how often I'll get "reflective" on this blog, but I've been thinking a lot about this post, and my decisions to go with an indie-publisher rather than keep shooting for a life-long goal of landing with one of the big six.  In all honesty, I stopped trying for the big six early in the game, and my very personal decision, for my own unique circumstances (not everyone would need to make this same decision to get the same results), is because I am a wife and mom, and for me to be a good wife and mom--the kind I want to be, I have to be the one calling the shots where my writing is concerned. 

Mom-hood is my occupation of choice, and oh, how I love it.  It has it's ups and downs associated with learning the ins and outs, sure, but my husband and munchkin are the bee's knees, and all those ups and downs of the ins and outs are worth it, because in the end, what else is there?

In the end, everyone could hate my book, and for some writers, that would feel like the end of the world. While I'd certainly be disappointed--perhaps seriously depressed for a minute :)--I know I'm making a much more worthwhile investment right here at home--an investment that will and already does yield innumerable dividends.

This is the main reason why I've chosen a more low key route to publishing.  Because frankly, what would feel like the end of the world to me, is if I failed my best friend and my boy--if one day I was faced with the stark reality that I'd spread myself too thin reaching for a life-long goal that required too much, and my family suffered because of it.  No six figure advance could ease, let alone erase those regrets.  There is no amount of money or fame or literary legend-dom (if that's even a word) that can substitute for the satisfaction--the sheer peace and joy of having warm little arms snug around my neck, sticky hands on my cheeks, and my husband's praise of "You're the best woman in the world!" whispered against my ear. 

That's all that really matters in life.  When all is said and done, whether this book of mine tanks or becomes a New York Times Best-seller, the fact is, I'm somebody's wife and somebody's mother.  And that means that no matter what, to at least two people, I'm already a legend.